Welcome everyone and thank you for being here.
I don’t think I can stand in front of you all today talking about Steve without recognizing that he literally saved my life this January. And now that I’ve recognized the fact, let’s move on. Today is about these two.
Now, I’ve been tasked with giving a little speech here. But I’m a little unpracticed in being a best man, and don’t quite know where to start. I suppose I should say some words about the bride and groom, but I’m not sure that I can.
You see, I’ve known Steve for 7 years, and lived with him for most of that time, but Ruthie I only met 9 months ago. In fact, Steve only met Ruthie 9 months ago. And I was in a bit of a coma for some of that time. And Ruthie has not lived in Pittsburgh for basically all of that time. So you’ll have to forgive me if I can’t say too much about Ruthie personally.
But, as little as I know Ruthie, I know Steve very well. That’s one of the by-products of living with someone for the better part of a decade. And so I would like to use this toast as an opportunity to give Ruthie a few warnings about Steve, and hopefully I can follow each warning with a recommendation. So here we go.
One. Steve has a tendency to be “flexible” with his schedule. What I mean by this is that he will wake up and on a whim want to go for a hike. Or go play frisbee. Or tour a museum. Or drive to another city. Steve doesn’t limit himself to what is written on his calendar. He’s a bit of an adventurer. I hear that you are too, so this warning might not be so important for you. But know this, there will come a day where you’re eating breakfast, and Steve asks if you want to go to an alpaca farm. And over time, he is going to rub off on you and you’ll wake up one morning and ask him if he wants to go see an opera, just because. My recommendation is to embrace this new way of life. Enjoy the randomness and don’t get nervous when you become less and less concerned with the rigidity of your schedule. It’s a natural consequence of living with Steve.
Two. Steve can be a little bit stubborn. He is going to pursue things that you don’t necessarily want to pursue. And sometimes those things are going to be things for you. And you won’t understand why he is so concerned about pushing something on you. For example, through our first few years of school, Steve asked me plenty of times to join him in going to the RUF large group at Pitt. I had already met Derek and gone to one or two small groups, but I never really got connected. But Steve just kept pushing me to join in, and he finally wore me down enough, and I capitulated to his request. I went to RUF, and I was about as uncomfortable those first few weeks as I expected to be. But I found that it was good. And I found myself getting more comfortable with it. And I found myself making friends and starting to feel at home. And I found myself being fed into in meaningful ways. And now on the other side of my time at Pitt I can say that RUF was one of the greatest blessings I could ask for. So if I may, let me recommend that when Steve starts to try to push you toward something, consider it. Consider it strongly. And don’t drag your feet like I did.
Lastly, I will warn you of something that kind of combines what we’ve already discussed. Steve doesn’t care about normal. He doesn’t care about fitting in. What Steve cares about is people. And he internally manages a lot of feelings about people. I can tell you that he and I shared many amusing and emotional discussions about our future lives and what they would look like and especially who they would be with. We talked a lot about finding a great girl who would add happiness and fun to our lives. Clearly, Steve is better at the finding than I am.
But truly, Steve has an immense heart that he does not try to keep to himself. He is incredibly generous with his time and his effort and his emotional energy. Some days you are going to have to support him more than you might expect. He will drain himself emotionally trying to help others, and you need to be there to refill his reserves. Please do, for his sake.
But listen to this last story for your sake.
Late in the night on Febuary 5th 2010 (I didn’t remember the date, I had to look it up) I was relaxing on our freshman floor when Steve came in in his winter garb, with red cheeks and maybe a little out of breath, and told me to put on my coat and boots. I asked why, and he said that he and a few others had just got back from an event off campus, and they had to help some cars get up the hill on Forbes Avenue coming into Oakland. He said that they were going back out to push cars. I again just asked why. I was warm and comfortable and wasn’t looking to go outside.
You see, Febuary 5th was the first day of Pittsburgh’s snowpocalypse that dropped over 20 inches of snow on the city. It shut down the city and the University of Pittsburgh for days, and there were plenty of people out on the road that didn’t realize how bad it was going to get. I don’t think Steve had really even thought about his actions or any other options of what he could do that night. So when I asked “why”, he just said “because.”
So we went out and pushed cars up the hill. And as we pushed the cars from behind, they sprayed dirty slush all over us. And we pushed car after car. And I don’t remember exactly, but I think we came back into our dorm at about 1:30 AM. We were cold and tired, but miles away from miserable. We had a great time helping others, and to this day, that night is one of my clearest and fondest memories from Pitt. Instead of wasting the night watching TV, I helped others and made a unique and powerful memory. All thanks to Steve.
So here is my last recommendation. When Steve asks you to do something completely random, that seems like it might actually be a bad idea for you, but he is adamant, please follow him. I ask you not to make plans now and start to picture what your new life with Steve is going to look like. You and Steve have no idea what your future holds. Sometimes your plans will change the morning of. And sometimes you two will see a neighbor’s need, and you won’t have any choice but to lend them a hand. Sometimes neither of you will understand why, but you will have a leading to move to Denver and start a new life apart from all those you know.
And I’ll tell you what, these are good things. Do them. Embrace the unexpected. Because I am positive that even though Steve may be looking at your future and planning your way, it is God who has been and will forever be establishing his steps. And now more than ever, with you together, every footfall that moves you two forward is going to be ordained by God.
And please, when Steve takes a turn down an unexpected or unfamiliar or unnerving path, take his hand and walk right beside him. You two are in for a great adventure together, and every step will be sweetened by the presence of the other.
So with that, everyone please take hold of your glass with me and raise it in a toast. To Steve and Ruthie. The best of us.